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(This was originally written on March 7, 2016. This post is the prequel to Madness Part 2)

I’m so grateful for quite a few things today through the many trials of this week. Number 1: cough syrup for my ailment, and the good timing I’ve been given for having a prescription for codeine during such a hard week – at least I will be able to sleep tonight when I otherwise wouldn’t be able to. Second: good friends and family who have the right words for me to hear when I’ve all but given up on a circumstance(s) that keep viciously rearing it’s head in our lives. A text message out of the blue from someone I haven’t spoken to in months, whom I love with my whole heart -and still doesn’t know I do, but now I get the opportunity to tell her. And lastly beautiful reminders of why I was given the life I have today posted in photos all over my feed.. I can’t and I wouldn’t change a thing, still. What an awfully beautiful roller coaster this is… Sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever be ‘strong enough’ to get through the ride every time I’m on one. But looking back I had to have gotten stronger, or I wouldn’t be able to look back and know what it has all taught me, or how to handle the next challenge. ..

This song has been playing over and over in my mind for weeks now. I have only heard it a couple of times in the last year, so I know it has been laid on my heart for just this season in my life. The name of it is ‘Madness’ by Hillsong ..the title is a bit coincidental as my life feels like madness, however … “faith makes a fool of what makes sense” is one of my favorite lyrics to the song. I’m so utterly confused about how things have ended up where they are now… all the work put into family, work, friendships, all to seemingly be shaken up and shattered into bits and pieces just to muster up more energy and perseverance to be rebuilt all over again . But I’m reminded that things really haven’t ‘ended’ up anywhere.

This life isn’t over and although I’m not aware of what’s ahead that doesn’t mean its not the perfect plan. He knows, and it’s going to be ok if I don’t. I need to continue to trust – to be patient – to pray – to have hope – to have faith. Instead of looking at this as a completely new construction from the ground up. Rather, I need to look at this as a remodel; like an addition to the project(s) already built.

I am learning that it doesn’t have to make sense at this moment in order for it to be a miracle in the making. Here’s to never forgetting that tidbit for the future roller coaster ride ♡

Philippians 1:6

(This was originally written on March 7, 2016. This post is the prequel to Madness Part 2)